I can’t remember the last time I slept more than three hours in a row and even three hours is a rare event these days! The funny thing is, I used to think I was tired. At uni, working at the bank, teacher training. And I was tired, but not this tired-to-the-core feeling I have now. I sat down at the dinner table tonight and really couldn’t find the energy to get back up to do baths.

Nights are pretty bad. Toddler sleeps really well, babies wake up really well. Multiple wake ups from two babies every night means that we don’t get much unbroken sleep. I thought things might be different this time as they were amazing sleepers until 4 months. Then they hit the dreaded ‘4 month sleep regression’ that I’d read so much about and everything changed!

It’s easy to think that I’m doing something wrong during the day to make night times so rubbish. I just can’t seem to nail the naps. Too much sleep= ready to party, too little sleep= overtired and wailing, napped too late in the afternoon= ready to party, napped too early in the afternoon= overtired and wailing. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I just can’t seem to get it right day in, day out. Maybe it’s because I’m not one of these people who stays at home with a strict routine. We go out to groups or to meet friends so its snooze in the car here, sleep in the pram there. Winging it, I think they call it!

I felt like a champion last night. Rhuaraidh was working in Inverness for the day so was due home late. For the first time since S&R were born, I was completely alone to do dinner, bath and bed with all three. I’m very lucky that this is the first time I’ve had to do it myself to be honest! I was ready to give it a shot. “Don’t want curry, Mummy” was followed by a clean plate without even one grain of rice left. Singing while bathing one baby kept the other distracted from wailing on the changing mat at the bathroom door! Even managed a story before the babies had a meltdown and got everyone upstairs and into cots/ sleeping bags. Obviously as soon as I sat down to tandem feed S&R, E shouted “need a wee, mummy” which is a standard “give me some attention” shout after bedtime. Since he isn’t in a bed yet, he thankfully couldn’t escape. Anyway, Rhuaraidh walked in the door at 7.15 and looked at me in amazement. All three children were in their beds. It wasn’t to be for long though. 45 minutes later, both babies were wide awake and downstairs for some play time. Just when I thought I’d done so well!

I’m hoping nights improve. I’m trying to stay positive and enjoy the snuggles before they grow up. Everyone thinks it is so easy to do. I do enjoy cosying in with a baby under each arm each night but it also means that I sleep in the tiniest sliver of my bed and wake up aching and sore from being contorted into weird sleeping positions. It is also blooming hard to stay positive waking up every hour or two. Some nights it’s easy, other nights staying positive at 2am, 3.30am and 5am is the hardest thing in the world. Thank goodness for boob.

Sleep is developmental, this is a phase that will pass. It’s just so exhausting. E slept through the night for the first time on the day of his first birthday party….hopefully these two will be similar.

Anyway, I should be sleeping. Goodnight. 😴