Author: The Wee Family Blog

2021 was a year of big changes for us. At the start of the year we were at the stage that something had to change. I was struggling and we were struggling together. The Rhuaraidh and Ailidh ship was sinking…fast.

Being a stay at home mum was turned on it’s head with the announcement of lockdown 1.0 in March 2020. Previously we’d been out somewhere every day- a playgroup, a play date, a walk with friends etc. This saved spending too long in the house with couch jumping, leg clinging, toy throwing toddlers. I don’t think I realised how important these outings were until they were cancelled, all of them, and it was just me, 3 kids (3.5yo & 1.5yo twins) and the 4 walls of our small house. Thankfully, we had a garden. The garden became an extension of our house over lockdown and I’ll always be grateful for its worn grass. Rhuaraidh worked. All the time. We were fortunate that he was able to carry on his job from home but his hours were long and no flexibility came with not going to the office. 8am- 5.30 upstairs in our bedroom on Teams meetings, phone calls, working through piles of paperwork…we only saw him for half an hour at lunch time.

On top of all this, we weren’t allowed to travel across local authority boundaries. Both sets of our parents lived in different areas of Scotland. Rhuaraidh’s parents were 4.5 hours away and my parents were 2 hours away. Months went by without seeing them when we had previously seen them every couple of weeks. The children got bored of trying to talk on FaceTime which was upsetting for everyone, our parents missed seeing so much of their development and we missed someone else giving them some attention.

This makes it all sound so doom and gloom. It wasn’t, we had some good times. We enjoyed slowing down, not rushing around here, there and everywhere. Getting things done in the house and the garden, growing vegetables from seed, family walks in our village at the weekends, setting up play and craft activities for the kids. We really appreciated our local area and our house and our garden.

Rhuaraidh ploughed on with his work, I ploughed on with being at home with the children. It was exhausting. Rhuaraidh became exhausted too. His demanding job became demoralising and his self esteem plummeted.

At the end of the year, we hardly felt like a team, tired and unhappy, no time or energy to be around each other. It all started to take its toll on my mental health. Being constantly in demand and with no time for myself I grumped a lot, snapped a lot and cried even more. I felt far away from family support and envied people who lived close to their parents, their children’s grandparents, and other relatives. I began to resent Rhuaraidh as I felt like we were only living where we were because of his job and that wasn’t a healthy place for our relationship to be.

A few months into 2021, as if by some weird sort of magic, our ship was thrown a lifeline and Rhuaraidh was offered a great job opportunity 20 minutes from my parents’ house and where I grew up. We debated and discussed the logistics of moving. It was a challenging decision to make- leaving good friends, a lovely community and a beautiful location with miles and miles of rural, green space. But we agreed that it might be our only opportunity to try and make things better for us.

On S&R’s 3rd birthday we accepted an offer on our first wee family home. It was emotional, but exciting! With no new house to relocate to, we were moving in with my parents. They had hardly seen us over the last year and a half so I was sure they’d be happy to see us all day, every day for a few months!

On the day we left our house, we viewed a house that we were, shockingly, successful in buying. A nicer and bigger house than we ever thought we’d be able to buy at this stage. A fixer upper with lots of potential.

And here we are.

The children have really enjoyed starting at their new school and nursery, giving me some much needed quiet time to paint and diy the house.

Rhuaraidh’s new job is going well.

We have had some help with the kids over the last few months which has massively helped us spend a bit of time together.

We are all adapting to our new location and enjoying exploring new places. But we really do miss the walks we used to do and the friends we used to see. We are looking forward to going back for a holiday!

I’m really glad that Rhuaraidh agreed to make some big changes to try and save our family. Who knows what life will be like here, who knows what life would have been like back where we used to live. But I do know that I feel much happier than I did this time last year. And that’s got to be a good thing.

I’m looking forward to seeing what 2022 has to offer in our new home. We hope that we get to spend a lot of time with family and friends that we have missed over the last few years, that we can show old friends and visiting family our new favourite places and that we can build new friendships in our new location!

Ps. We know that we were/ are very fortunate in a lot of ways. But we also know that it’s ok to admit that there are challenging times even though it may seem to others, from the outside, that we don’t really have anything to complain about in the grand scheme of things!

I really amn’t very good at keeping on top of the housework. I know some people like to use zoflora of all different flavours on every surface, change their bed sheets every 2 days, iron their underwear and Hoover their floors every day but I’m afraid that’s just not me. I’m always full of good intentions but I far prefer playing with the kids or catching 5 minutes to sit down than making sure my house is spotless.

This time last year I was trying to do the ‘Organised Mum Method’ where you’re supposed to spend half an hour a day cleaning and each day focuses on a different room. That lasted for a few weeks and I gave up…! This year I’m just trying to keep on top of things. It’s just never ending though so I never even feel like I’m on top of it!

What really frustrates me is that I spend ages cleaning and then 2 minutes later things look rubbish again. And it’s not always just the kids that are to blame! Here’s what usually happens…

I clean the hob then overboil the pasta.

I hoover the hall then bring boys in from the garden in their muddy suits.

I clean the cupboard doors then dribble a tea bag down them when putting it in the bin.

I hoover the floor then give the kids an oatcake as a snack.

I hang the washing on the airer then S pulls it off again.

I put the tumble dryer on upstairs then it stops and beeps for the tank to be emptied.

I clean the microwave then heat up lasagne which spits everywhere.

I clean the loo then tip poo all over the seat while cleaning a nappy.

I tidy up the toys from the floor then S tips the box upside down.

I clean the inside of the windows then the kids lick them.

But one day our empty house will be clean and tidy and I’ll long for a box of Playmobil to be tipped all over the floor or for there to be sticky finger prints on the telly….for now I’ll just try not to spend too much time cleaning and spend time with my lovely children instead. Don’t worry, I will clean the bathroom and give the place a hoover if you’re coming to visit!

Rhuaraidh and I were laughing at our past lives the other night.

Before having babies, I used to be so annoyed when I was woken up by the slightest thing. To be fair, Rhuaraidh can confirm that I’m still sometimes annoyed about being woken up…I just try hard not to show it when I’m woken up by one of the kids. Some nights, more successfully than others! We’ve had our fair share of sleep deprivation in the last few years so looking back, we both find it hilarious what I used to moan about when I was getting over 8 hours of solid sleep a night.

I used to be annoyed at waking up twice in the night even when I was just able to roll over and fall back asleep again.

I used to be annoyed at Rhuaraidh getting up for the loo and switching on the light in our en-suite in the flat.

I used be annoyed at the light coming in round the edge of the blind so I blue tacked it to the wall.

I used to be annoyed at the birds cheeping in the morning so I wore earplugs to block out the noise.

I used to struggle to get up at 6am even when I’d been asleep all night.

I used to be annoyed at Rhuaraidh rolling over too heavily and making the mattress bounce.

Now most nights we have one or two wake ups…but unlike in the past, we’re woken up by children with bad dreams, children hearing the creaking floorboards as we creep up to bed or children who are too hot or cold!

How times change!

Christmas in November results in 3yos asking every day if it’s Christmas yet?

I will never take my children to Smyths toy shop.

I need to double check my parents’ diary before buying them concert tickets.

E isn’t sure about Santa at Christmas parties.

I don’t like lying to the kids about Santa.

All Christmas films are too scary for E.

‘Rudorf’ loves eating lichen.

Spending Christmas Eve reading in bed is bliss.

S wakes up at 5.30, Christmas or not.

E enthusiastically says “ just what I always wanted!” when opening presents.

Dolls houses are not just for girls.

Paw Patrol toys are always the best presents.

It’s impossible to get 3 children and 2 adults to look at the camera at the same time.

When I don’t eat enough I get a bit hangry.

I’m making Christmas dinner next year after my hangry rant.

S only eats potato croquettes for Christmas dinner.

S&R don’t eat their dinner unless E feeds them.

S likes donating his unwanted meals to R.

Dropped tree needles make great sensory play.

Hogmanay is best spent in bed.

When you don’t have family nearby there aren’t lots of festive gatherings to go to.

Another year until we have to do it all again!

I’ve been slightly irritable today. E is recovering from a bad cough (possibly croup) which has hit him hard every afternoon for the last week and S is now miserable with the same thing. We’ve been in the house most of the week. Things I’d usually find funny have been a total nuisance today.

Here are some examples:

R pulling dirty washing out of the basket and trailing it all around the house (including Rhuaraidh’s boxers and some wet and dirty cloths).

S shouting for “backs” (snacks) but shaking his head at everything I offer him.

E refusing to go to the loo before leaving for nursery.

S&R pouring their sippy cup out on their high chair and splashing in it.

E hollering from the bathroom “MUM!!!! I’VE DONE SOME POOS AND WEES!!!!!!!”

S&R taking all the toy animals from the sitting room and putting them in the bath.

R tipping up the 3- layer wooden jigsaw that E’s just spent time completing.

E tipping the box of animals out after tidying them up.

S&R taking dirty dishes out of the dishwasher as I’m loading it.

Rhuaraidh not messaging me from work to ask if the boys are ok.

S&R constantly swapping water bottles and spoons. (When will R get this cough?)

R pressing the power button on the printer off and on while I’m trying to load new cartridges.

S pressing every button on the washing machine before I’ve had a chance to activate child lock.

E putting bits of his dinner into his cup of milk.

S pointing and shouting (in his language) for salad dressing, sweet chilli sauce, forks and cups at the dinner table. Anything other than what is on his plate.

S feeding to sleep but biting me every time he coughs.

E getting hyper in the bedroom next door and knowing that it could be a long evening.

S coughing in his cot and knowing that it could be a long night.

Maybe I’ll be in a better mood tomorrow.

E loves refusing to get dressed.

E loves getting parcels through the post.

E loves riding his balance bike to nursery.

E loves making up songs.

E loves wearing my old watches. One on each wrist.

E loves reading magazines.

E loves shopping in Lidl and convincing Rhuaraidh to buy him unnecessary things from the middle aisles.

E loves sleeping with a daschund draught excluder from the above mentioned Lidl trips.

S loves climbing on the dining table.

S loves climbing into kitchen cupboards.

S loves taking wet clothes out of the washing machine.

S loves miaowing.

S loves throwing bits of dinner on the floor.

S loves blowing kisses.

S loves nodding.

S loves throwing boots in the bath.

R loves unpacking all the neatly folded nappies.

R loves Hairy Maclary books.

R loves making hen noises.

R loves pouring cupfuls of water out of the bath.

R loves hoovering and brushing up.

R loves banging on his high chair table until his food arrives.

R loves standing on chairs.

R loves flicking through the pages of big books.

S&R love unloading the clean dishes from the dishwasher.

S&R love unloading the dirty dishes from the dishwasher.

S&R love throwing things down the stairs.

S&R love climbing up the stairs.

S&R love sliding down the stairs.

S&R love their bedtime feed.

S&R love escaping during nappy changes.

S&R love taking things from E to hear him squeal.

All three love playdough.

All three love going outside.

All three love mealtimes.

All three love fighting over toys.

And all three love cuddles. (At the same time!)

I was recently asked how I’ve found having twins. I decided to sum it up in two blog posts. ‘Challenging’ and ‘Worth it.’

Worth it

It’s worth it when you wake up in the morning to three happy, smiling boys who are excited for the day.

It’s worth it when you get to see family more often because they want to see your children.

It’s worth it when you make lovely mum friends.

It’s worth it when you reconnect with old friends.

It’s worth it when you manage to breastfeed for over a year.

It’s worth it when they pull off the boob and give you a loving, satisfied smile.

It’s worth it when you hear your children giggling with each other.

It’s worth it when your older child is laughing hysterically because of something the babies are doing.

It’s worth it when your older child cuddles you and says “I love you” before you’ve said it to him.

It’s worth it when your older child tells you “you’re hilarious!”

It’s worth it when you’re out and about and make people smile.

It’s worth it when people say they can’t believe how well you’re doing.

It’s worth it when you get all the children to sleep by 7.30 and have a nice, long evening with your partner.

It’s worth it when all three sleep through the night. (We’ve only had this once so far!)

It’s worth it when you manage some nice time together at the weekend.

It’s worth it when you get to the end of the day without getting wound up.

It’s worth it when you feel like you achieved something you didn’t think you would be able to do with all three children.

It’s worth it when you realise how blooming lucky you are to have three happy and healthy boys!

Every day is challenging, but worth it.

I was recently asked how I’ve found having twins. I decided to sum it up in two blog posts. ‘Challenging’ and ‘Worth it.’

Challenging

It is challenging when you’ve just had a c-section and are left alone to look after two babies.

It is challenging when you have to be readmitted to hospital for jaundice treatment after being home for two days.

It is challenging when you have two crying babies and only one set of arms.

It is challenging when you change both nappies and both babies poo again.

It is challenging when the babies start to crawl and get your older child’s toys.

It is challenging when the babies start to walk in different directions.

It’s challenging when you have to take your baby to the hospital in the middle of the night.

It is challenging when one baby wakes, feeds and settles and then the other one wakes to be fed and settled.

It is challenging when your older child wants you to play with him while you’re breastfeeding.

It is challenging when your older child hits the babies.

It is challenging when your older child cries at the same time as the babies.

It is challenging when you move your older child from a cot into a bed and he won’t stay in it.

It is challenging when you’re trying to get the babies to nap and your older child is doing everything he can to keep them awake.

It’s challenging when you are trying to stay calm but your older child knows exactly how to wind you up.

It is challenging when your older child wakes up in the night at the same time as the babies.

It is challenging when your older child wakes at 5.45 and comes running and shouting into your bedroom.

It is challenging when you have three grumpy children at the end of the day.

It is challenging when you are so tired that you’re just grumpy.

It is challenging when there is usually a child downstairs in the evening.

It’s challenging when you have no time to do things you want to do for yourself.

It’s challenging when you want to do things in the evening but you have no energy.

It is challenging when you go to bed and the babies wake up half an hour later.

Its challenging when you want to do productive house/ garden jobs at the weekends but just argue about who looks after the children.

It is challenging when you hardly get to spend time with your partner.

It is challenging when you’ve been cuddling children and breastfeeding so much that you don’t want your partner near you.

It is challenging when you’re jealous of your partner going to work in a quiet office.

It is challenging when you hear “you’ve got your hands full” on a daily basis.

It’s challenging when you want to live closer to family but it’s impossible.

It is challenging when you only have two bedrooms but want the babies to have some space of their own.

Every day is challenging, but worth it.

Ps. I know that we have been incredibly lucky so far and haven’t had to face any major challenges like many other parents have to face. However, daily life as a mum of three can be challenging and some days I just wonder how I manage to juggle everything! Blog post ‘Worth it’ coming soon!!

Life update.

S&R…

-Now own their first pair of real shoes and are tentatively taking steps on their own.

-Sit and cry if the other one is having boob and they aren’t.

-Make nappy changes challenging.

-Clap at the right time during “wind the bobbin up.”

-Help me to empty the dishwasher.

-Take food from the others’ plate even if they have the same.

-Enjoy putting bits of their dinner into a cup of water and then pouring it into their bib.

-Hold cutlery in one hand and eat with their fingers of the other hand.

-Wake in the night.

E…

-Favourite words include “why” and “want.”

-Falls asleep in the car and then doesn’t go to sleep until late.

-Enjoys pushing over S&R and then sitting on them.

-Prefers “wind the bobbin up” over the UK top 40.

-Enjoys looking at letters and sounds.

-Is pretty good at “I spy.”

-Asks to “help” in the kitchen.

-Still eats everything.

-Doesn’t want to have a bath.

-Still wakes in the night.